I’m in India this week—amazing India—to meet a group of lovely and inspiring women. These are the ladies of Tamil Nadu, the southern-most Indian state, the tenth largest Indian state by area and the sixth largest by population. It’s famous for its Hindu temples; its capital is Chennai, formerly known as Madras. While I’m here for primarily a meeting with a particular hospital where I’ve been assisting with surgeries, my colleague and longtime friend Usha Parthasarathy suggested I come early to meet the ladies of Tamil Nadu.
The ladies just formed a women’s group and had not yet met. This was the weekend! At small resort on the Bay of Bengal, nineteen women connected with hemophilia journeyed to meet one another. Some were mothers of children; some married a person with hemophilia; one was a young lady who has hemophilia. All were anxious to meet.
The weekend started with a puja, a ritual ceremony honoring the gods and also kicking off the celebration of meeting. We gathered round a chalk-inscribed design and lit small oil lamps; Ambika, a pro-active mother, sang a prayer. It was very moving and beautiful! Then we sat in a circle and played a game: each person paired with another and asked each other questions to learn who they were. They later had to repeat all they learned about the other person.
Later, Ambika explained that the meeting was called “Sunflowers of Hope” because the sunflower doesn’t always need rain or sun. It can draw nourishment from the sunflower next to it. What a great analogy to this meeting of women! And it’s why we dressed in yellow.
The most poignant moment for me was when one mom approached Usha and Amika. I could see them talking softly to her and moments later bedecked her with pretty earrings. Indians love their jewelry! The mom started crying and they all hugged. But what caused this?
Usha told me how her teen son with hemophilia had died just two years ago. Recently she was with relatives, who criticized her for wearing gold earrings. She should be in mourning, not wearing jewelry! Well, this is where a women’s group can work wonders. Usha and Ambika brought out a gift they had for her—beautiful new earrings. They supported her decision to wear them.
The rest of the weekend was learning: about leadership, advocacy, hemophilia, gene therapy and more. There were more games and workshops. The women seemed like best friends by the end.
But of all the marvelous things that took place this weekend, nothing could compare to the earrings. Such profound loss, such a simple act of kindness… and a mother now has strength to face her judgmental relatives. All because she was found the power of women who band together, the ladies of Tamil Nadu.
